A stand of conifers under low morning fog, the further rows dissolving into haze — an image for the generations standing behind a family
Systemic constellation work · Berlin-Schöneberg

Family Constellation Berlin as Ordering Work

Recognise entanglements. Restore order. Find peace.

“All real living is encounter.”

Martin Buber, Jewish philosopher
Systemic constellation · individual session
360 €
incl. preliminary phone conversation and integration conversation
2–3 hours
12161 Berlin-Schöneberg · in person only
Roennebergstraße 7
Philosopher
FU Berlin
HPG licensed
since 2015
Own practice
since 2018
Family constellations
Berlin-Schöneberg

A family constellation in Berlin with Gwendolin Kirchhoff is ordering work: the inner image of your family system is made visible in the room so that an entanglement can be recognised and released. Gwendolin Kirchhoff — philosopher, licensed psychotherapy practitioner (licensed 2015), in independent practice since 2018 — works with you one to one rather than in a group, for two to three hours at her practice in Berlin-Schöneberg, at a fixed price of 360 € including the preliminary and integration conversations.

What brings you here is likely not intellectual curiosity but a felt weight — a heaviness that does not belong to you, recurring conflicts that refuse to resolve, a sense of not being in your rightful place. The source often lies deeper than your own biography — in the fates of earlier generations that continue to reverberate within you.

Family constellation in Berlin

A family constellation in Berlin with me is one constellation at a time, in one room, with one other person present: me. The practice room is in Berlin-Schöneberg, at Roennebergstraße 7, 12161 Berlin. Clients travel in from other German cities for a session.

Group constellations in Berlin do exist — evenings where strangers take the roles of your family members and your concern lies open in a circle. I do not work that way, and the difference is not cosmetic. In the one-to-one setting there is no audience, no rota, no seminar timetable. What is said stays between us, and the constellation follows your pace.

The work itself is in person only. Standing in the room, placing the markers, feeling in your own body where a position is narrow and where it opens — none of that survives a video call. What we can do remotely is the preliminary conversation in which we clarify your concern, and the integration conversation one to two months afterwards. The constellation happens in Berlin.

If you are weighing whether to travel: the session is a single appointment of two to three hours, not a course of weekly sessions, and the free introductory call is where we work out beforehand whether your concern belongs in a constellation at all.

One-to-one, not a group workshop

Every family constellation I facilitate is a one-to-one session, never a group workshop. You and I are alone in the room. Instead of representatives — strangers who stand in for your mother, your father, an ancestor — I use paper markers placed on the floor. Each marker stands for a family member or for an aspect of your concern; you walk through the positions yourself and perceive the dynamic in your own body rather than watching it acted out by someone else.

This is a different kind of work from a group constellation, not a lesser one. Group work has its own strengths, and I do not dismiss it. What the individual setting gives you is a protected space: your family history does not lie open in a half-circle of people you have never met, nothing is performed, and hidden dynamics in your family system have the quiet they need in order to show at all.

For many people this is the condition under which they are willing to do a constellation in the first place. A heavy family story is not something you want to hand to a room of strangers for an evening. The other practical consequence is time: a one-to-one session runs two to three hours and follows what emerges, rather than the schedule of a workshop day.

As the constellation facilitator my part is to look, not to direct. What we are looking at is the client’s family system and the dynamics inside it that still influence your present life. A systemic constellation can take in social systems beyond the family as well — a team, a company, a decision you are facing — but the family is where most people start, and usually where the weight sits.

What you get is therefore a single, experiential session at 360 € — preliminary conversation, the constellation itself, and an integration conversation one to two months later. I do not run constellation groups, and I do not train facilitators.

Is family constellation a therapy?

No — a family constellation is not a therapy. It is not family therapy, not systemic therapy, not individual therapy and not coaching, and it is not a medical treatment. The usual English name for this work is family constellation therapy. I do not use that name, because it says something about my role that is not true.

What happens in a constellation is work of understanding: looking at a history, making an order visible, saying out loud what was never said. I am a philosopher and have been licensed under the German Heilpraktikergesetz for psychotherapy since 2015. That licence matters to me mainly as a boundary — it tells me where my work ends.

Where an acute mental illness is in the foreground, or where unprocessed trauma overwhelms the person, the work belongs with a psychotherapist and not in a constellation. If that becomes clear in the preliminary conversation, I say so and we do not set up a constellation. Constellation work therefore often stands beside a therapy rather than in place of one. Many people come once the therapeutic work is done and a question remains that was never a therapeutic question: the question of their own place, of the order a life stands in.

Introduction to constellation work

What is an entanglement?

When a person unconsciously carries and re-enacts the fate, guilt, or secret of someone in their family system, we speak of an entanglement. It can manifest in many ways: in proxy conflicts in relationships or at work, a diffuse inner suffering (“I don’t know where I belong”), illness, recurring painful patterns, or simply a tormenting relationship with one’s mother or father. What it comes down to is something that stayed unresolved within the family and was passed on unnoticed.

The aim of family constellation work is not to gain a deeper understanding of your family in the abstract. It is to uncover hidden dynamics that are still at work now — and then to let what has been acknowledged find its own order again.

Common dynamics

  • The interrupted movement towards the mother — “Mum, I missed you so much” — when a physical or emotional separation between mother and child has occurred and the child’s reaching out has turned into mistrust, anger, defiance, helplessness, and numbness.
  • Burden-taking — “Let me carry this for you” — when a descendant unconsciously tries to resolve, rescue, or bear something that belongs to an ancestor and can only be carried by that ancestor alone.
  • Bringing in the excluded — such as mourning aborted children or forgotten and excluded family members. This can give rise to the compulsion to embody the excluded person in one’s own life and re-enact their fate.
  • Level confusion — “I am the big one, you are the small one” — when a descendant does not stand in the place where the blessing flows in their direction.

Important: none of these dynamics are formulaic. Each constellation is and remains unique and unpredictable.

If your question does not need a constellation — if it wants to be thought through rather than set up in a room — then a philosophical consultation is the better place to start; the free introductory call is where we work out which of the two fits your concern.

Whence things arise, thence also they pass away, for they render atonement to one another for their injustice according to the ordinance of time.

— Anaximander of Miletus, 610–547 BCE

What is constellation work about?

We become who we are through relationship. The Jewish philosopher Martin Buber describes the depth of human existence: we only become feeling, living subjects through the “Thou,” through relationship. The mother forms the first and most intimate I–Thou bond; the father is initially present only indirectly.

Our family shapes how we feel. What the parents carry within themselves is perceived by the growing child. Our family is thus the origin of all our capacity for relationship and emotional imprint. Feelings do not simply appear as reactions in the body — they stand as a relationship between two people in space, within a larger context with its own inner dynamic.

We live in a world inherited from our ancestors

Especially as small children, we perceive what has happened in the family as a complex emotional impression, and the traces of events can reach far into the past and into earlier generations, whose fate we are unconsciously bound to. When the soul is bound to an event that it painfully and fatefully re-enacts — for instance, by being driven to make visible something that occurred in the family and was emotionally repressed, denied, or inadequately acknowledged — we speak of an entanglement. Entanglements end when what needs to be acknowledged has been acknowledged, and those involved stand in right relation to one another again.

Acknowledgement is the currency of the soul. Systemic family constellation is a method for making visible these bonds, loyalties, and entanglements that live in the emotional body. It reveals how emotional dynamics are unconsciously passed down across generations, mysteriously thwarting the person in the conduct of their life.

What is a family constellation?

A family constellation is a setting-up of your own family system in the room that makes an entanglement visible: the unconscious taking-on of a fate that is not yours. You come with your own concern; the family members bound up in it are placed in the room as representatives or — in my one-to-one work — as paper markers standing for the people or the aspects of your concern. Their positions in relation to one another make legible what is at work in you without belonging to you — a heaviness, a recurring conflict, the sense of not standing in your own place.

The medium of this work is the room, not a conversation about the family. Whoever takes a position in a constellation feels there feelings that do not come from their own life story but belong to the person they are standing for. In my introduction to systemic family constellation I described that finding like this:

… the feelings, the whole constellation of feeling, can be read in the room. Why that is so is a mystery.

— Gwendolin Kirchhoff, „Systemisches Familienstellen (nach Bert Hellinger), eine Einführung“, SYMPOSIUM 2024, 18:48–18:56; translated from the German

What becomes readable in the room is the beginning of the work, not its result. What follows is the careful looking at what happened in the family, and the saying out loud of what no one has said until now — in the protected setting of one-to-one work, visible in the room as a movement and audible as a sentence. A constellation does not interpret and does not guess; it shows an order that was already there.

A family constellation is therefore not a medical treatment and not a therapy. In English this work is usually called family constellation therapy; I do not use that name, because I can accompany you in this work but not treat you, and because a constellation puts a question into the room instead of arriving at a diagnosis. What the term covers in detail is set out in the lexicon entry on the family constellation.

Family constellation and systemic constellation

In a systemic constellation, the inner image of a family system in relation to a concern is made visible in the room — either through representatives or paper markers. These are placed spontaneously and intuitively in the space and aligned in relation to one another. Emotional truths come to light that are often hidden from conscious thought but deeply felt. Systemic movements take place and resolution sentences are spoken.

A systemic movement is a change of position in the room (standing to the left, right, beside, or facing each other; moving closer or further away) or a physical gesture (making eye contact, looking at the ground, bowing, kneeling, embracing, and so on).

A resolution sentence speaks the actual emotional truth of what happened (“Mum, I missed you so much.”) or acknowledges an order (“I cannot carry this for you.”). Resolution sentences feel liberating and right when they capture what truly occurred.

Systemic movements and resolution sentences can trigger a profound reordering of inner experience — and indeed something like genuine ethical development, because the real consequences of actions become visible beyond abstract debate.

What tends to come to light there is something I described in Laurens Dillmann’s podcast „Durch den Nebel“: people arrive with a diffuse feeling, and once that feeling is constellated, they “find themselves looking, for example, at an ancestor from whom a particular emotional state was taken over by resonance, without noticing it” (Kirchhoff, G., 2026, „Durch den Nebel“, 13:56; translated from the German). The state you arrive with is often not yours alone — which is why thinking about it rarely settles it, and looking at it in the room moves something.

Can I do a family constellation on my own?

No — you cannot do a family constellation on your own, because it needs someone looking at the picture while you are standing inside it. If you are inside your own system you cannot see it from outside; and if you construct it at your desk, what you are most likely to get back is the assumption you already had. The same limit applies, for the same reason, to the self-help versions that circulate — constellations with figures, with a board, with markers laid out to a template.

What you can have is the next thing to it, and it is what I offer: a one-to-one constellation. You are alone with me in the room, without a group and without a stranger standing in for your mother. Paper markers take the place of representatives; you walk through the positions yourself. The facilitation stays with me, the perception stays with you.

Between the two extremes — doing it alone and doing it in front of a group — this is the setting that keeps what matters from both: your own bodily perception, and someone whose only job in that hour is to look. Everything else about the format follows from that: the session lasts as long as it lasts, and nothing is performed for anyone.

What does a family constellation cost?

A family constellation with me costs 360 € — one fixed total for the session, however long it takes. There is no hourly rate and there are no additional costs.

Three things are included: the preliminary phone conversation in which we clarify your concern; the constellation itself, two to three hours at my practice in Berlin-Schöneberg; and the integration conversation one to two months later. The session is deliberately not billed by the hour — a constellation that watches the clock is not one.

German statutory health insurance does not cover this. Constellation work is not a medical treatment and therefore not an insured service; the session is billed privately. Whether a private insurer or an employer contributes depends entirely on that contract, and only they can answer it.

There is no package price and no subscription, for a substantive reason: a constellation is a completed piece of work, not a series of weekly sessions. What goes on working afterwards works in the quiet weeks and in the integration conversation, not in a follow-up appointment you book at the same time. If a second constellation does come out of it later, it is a session of its own at the same fixed price.

Before you decide, there is a free 30-minute introductory call. Its purpose is exactly this question: whether your concern belongs in a constellation at all.

Frequently asked questions

What kinds of concerns can be addressed in a constellation?

Essentially anything that carries real emotional weight — a genuine inner pressure. It is not meaningful to set up a constellation out of mere curiosity without a pressing concern. The concern itself is always an intensely present feeling. It is perfectly fine if at first you can only describe it in vague terms. We will work together in the preliminary conversation and then through the constellation process itself to uncover its core.

Concerns may include:

  • Difficult decisions you cannot resolve
  • Blockages in your career or success in life
  • Recurring issues in your partnership and what lies behind them
  • Blockages within an organisation or business
  • Suffering caused by illness
  • Recurring conflicts
  • Dynamics in blended families
  • Questions about your relationship with mother or father
  • Existential questions about your place in life
Who can set up a constellation?

Anyone who has a personal concern. You can only set up a constellation for your own concern — not for someone else’s, even though experience shows that a constellation can also have effects on others. The only exception: up to the age of 10, a mother may set up a constellation on behalf of her child. Older children and adolescents may commission their own constellations.

How does a systemic constellation work?

I work in individual sessions under professional guidance. We use paper markers that you place intuitively around the room. The process begins with a preliminary phone conversation in which we clarify your concern and set a date. Many clients report that the process already begins to unfold with the decision to do a constellation.

The actual constellation takes place at my practice in Berlin-Schöneberg and typically lasts two to three hours, occasionally longer. Afterwards, I recommend at least 21 days of not talking about the constellation, simply allowing it to work within your inner space. An integration conversation by phone is available after one to two months.

What is the difference between family constellation and systemic constellation?

Family constellation and systemic constellation are, at their core, two names for the same method. Family constellation puts the emphasis on the family system — your family of origin, your couple relationship, the dynamics between parents and children. Systemic constellation is the broader umbrella term: it also covers systems beyond the family, such as your working life, a decision you are facing or an existential question. I work systemically — the family is often where a constellation starts, but it is not where it has to stop.

How much does a family constellation cost?

A systemic constellation as an individual session costs 360 €. That price covers the preliminary phone conversation in which we clarify your concern, the constellation itself (two to three hours at my practice in Berlin-Schöneberg) and an integration conversation one to two months later.

Is a family constellation charged by the hour, or are there extra costs?

Neither — a family constellation with me costs a fixed total of 360 € for the individual session, however long it takes. A session usually runs two to three hours, occasionally longer, but it is not billed by the hour and there are no hidden additional costs. The price includes the preliminary phone conversation, the constellation itself and the integration conversation one to two months afterwards.

Does health insurance cover the cost of a family constellation?

No — German statutory health insurance (the gesetzliche Krankenkasse) does not cover the cost of a family constellation. Constellation work is not a medical treatment and therefore not a service statutory insurers pay for; the session is billed privately at 360 €, including the preliminary and integration conversations. Whether a private insurer or an employer contributes depends entirely on your individual contract — only they can tell you that, not me.

Do I need any prior knowledge for a family constellation?

No, you do not need any prior knowledge for a family constellation. You do not have to know the theory behind constellation work, research your family history beforehand, or understand which dynamic lies behind your concern. What matters is a genuine concern: an inner pressure that will not let you go. In the preliminary phone conversation we work out together what it is really about; everything else emerges in the room.

Can I do a family constellation on my own?

A family constellation always takes place under professional guidance — it is not something you can carry out by yourself. What I offer is individual work: you work alone with me in the room, without a group. I use paper markers that stand in for family members or for aspects of your concern. The advantage is that you can concentrate entirely on your own process, free of the dynamics a group brings with it.

What happens after a family constellation?

After a family constellation, a phase of inner integration begins that matters at least as much as the constellation itself. I recommend at least 21 days of not talking about what you experienced — not out of secrecy, but because the soul needs space to let what happened take effect in silence. Talking about it too soon can pull what has begun to move back into old patterns of thought.

In the days and weeks that follow, you may notice changes: in your relationships, in your mood, in how you respond to conflict. Some things clear quickly; others unfold over months. That is not a shortcoming but part of order work — the order of being does not restore itself at the push of a button; it grows back once what was suppressed has been acknowledged.

After one to two months I offer an integration conversation, in which we look together at what has shifted and what is still at work. I have described the full process, from the preliminary conversation to integration, in detail.

Is a family constellation worth it?

A family constellation is worth it when there is a genuine concern — an inner pressure that will not let you go. Constellation work is not a self-optimisation tool and not an exercise in curiosity. It works where something is bound deep down, beyond the reach of conscious thought.

My approach differs from many therapeutic offerings: I do not work on symptoms, but ask which order of being has been disturbed. Behind a recurring conflict, a blockage or a burdensome relationship there is often an entanglement — a fate unconsciously taken over from the family of origin. The constellation makes this bond visible and opens up a movement towards resolution.

So a constellation makes sense when you feel that something in your life is not right, and the usual routes — conversations, therapy, thinking it through — have reached their limit. In this essay I describe in detail how to tell whether a constellation is the right step for you.

How do you feel after a family constellation?

How people feel after a family constellation varies a great deal. Many describe a deep calm or clarity; some go through a period of processing in which old feelings surface once more. That is part of the process — not a sign that something has gone wrong. I remain available after the session if questions come up.

How often should you do a family constellation?

There is no fixed rule. A single constellation can set a profound process in motion — many clients come with one concern and experience a resolution that continues to unfold over months. Some return after months or years with a new concern. What I do not recommend is doing one constellation after another in quick succession: the soul needs time to integrate what has been experienced. At least three months between two constellations is advisable. The 21-day resting period after each constellation is non-negotiable.

Can I book a family constellation as a one-to-one session in Berlin?

Yes — I work exclusively in one-to-one sessions, never in groups. You work alone with me at my practice in Berlin-Schöneberg. Instead of human representatives, I use paper markers that stand for family members or for aspects of your concern. The advantage: you can focus entirely on your own process, without the dynamics of a group. A one-to-one session lasts two to three hours and costs 360 €, including the preliminary and follow-up conversations.

Where do the family constellations take place?

Constellations take place at the practice room in Berlin-Schöneberg: Roennebergstraße 7, 12161 Berlin — Friedenau locality, Tempelhof-Schöneberg borough. This work requires physical presence — standing in the room, the bodily perception of order and entanglement cannot be digitized. Clients travel from other cities for it.

What happens in a family constellation?

In a family constellation the inner image of your family system becomes visible in the room. You place paper markers that stand for family members or for aspects of your concern, and then walk through those positions yourself. Out of what you perceive there come systemic movements — a change of position or a gesture — and resolution sentences that say out loud what had stayed unsaid. Together they make an entanglement visible. What emerges is not decided in advance.

Who is allowed to facilitate a family constellation?

In Germany almost anyone may: the title is not protected. Three things tell you a facilitator is serious — a verifiable qualification they are willing to name, a preliminary conversation that clarifies your concern, and the modesty not to promise healing. I am a philosopher (FU Berlin), licensed under the German Heilpraktikergesetz for psychotherapy since 2015, and in independent practice since 2018; with me the same person facilitates the constellation, the preliminary conversation and the integration conversation. A qualification here means more than a certificate: a grounded training in systemic therapy or psychotherapy, or a multi-year constellation training — for instance to the standards of the Deutsche Gesellschaft für Systemaufstellungen (DGfS), a German professional association for constellation work. I learned this work in the tradition of systemic ordering work.

Is a family constellation dangerous?

A constellation becomes dangerous where the facilitator directs instead of looking — and where a constellation is done although something else is called for. So I draw two boundaries. Where an acute mental illness is in the foreground or unprocessed trauma overwhelms the person, the work belongs with a psychotherapist and not in a constellation; if that shows in the preliminary conversation, we do not set one up. And you only ever set up your own concern, never someone else's.

Is there a free family constellation in Berlin?

No — I do not offer free constellations. What is free is the 30-minute introductory call, in which we clarify whether your concern belongs in a constellation at all. Free constellation evenings in Berlin do exist — as practice groups run by people in training, and as taster evenings advertising a training course; that can be perfectly honest, but it is a different thing from working on a pressing concern of your own. My constellations are one-to-one sessions and cost 360 € including the preliminary and integration conversations. The refusal is free as well: if the introductory call shows that a constellation is not the right thing for your concern, I say so and we do not set one up.

Can you do a family constellation online?

No — I do not offer the family constellation itself online; it takes place exclusively in person at my practice in Berlin-Schöneberg. This work needs physical presence: standing in the room, placing the paper markers intuitively and perceiving order and entanglement with the body cannot be translated into a video call. What we can hold online or by phone is the preliminary conversation to clarify your concern and the integration conversation afterwards — the constellation itself happens in Berlin, which also makes it easy to combine with a trip from another city.

Do you have further questions?

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Investment

360 €

Systemic Constellation

  • Preliminary phone conversation to clarify your concern
  • Individual constellation session (2–3 hours, Berlin-Schöneberg)
  • Integration conversation after 1–2 months

Further reading

Essays

Lexicon

Related services

Constellation work pairs naturally with philosophical consultation — for a deeper understanding of what the constellation has revealed. For leaders, there is a dedicated format that combines constellation with philosophical diagnostics.

The lexicon entry on order work explores the philosophical foundations of constellation work and its connection to natural philosophy.

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